i’m sorry this is messy . not everything can be poetic .

h,

I’m sorry.
I’m sorry I didn’t make more time for you when I had the chance.
If I could go back, I would give you all of my time. every last bit of it. because now I have too much time on my hands and it’s spent thinking of you. except I no longer know if you think of me too .

I’m sorry we had problems I didn’t know how to fix.
I wish I knew every answer to every question, but for some reason compromise isn’t always as simple as taking a little from each side. Sometimes that just doesn’t work.
I wish I gave up a little more in order to keep you.
I’m sorry for my stubbornness.

If I were to go back, I would tell you every single day how you made me feel.
Because now I’m feeling too much and I wish I could talk to you, but I can’t without breaking down.

I am totally 100% still in love with you.
I miss you.
I want you back.
I want you to want me back.
I just want you to hold me and tell me we’re okay and will make it through this.

but at the same time I know there are reasons why we both walked the opposite way.
deep down I knew that we were slowly falling apart no matter how hard I tried to duct tape us back together.

So. I put all of your things in a shoe box, then I placed that box in my closet. But there are some things I just can’t quite get out of my life.
I still wear the necklace you got me 2 weeks before Valentines Day. You picked me up from school because I couldn’t drive and surprised me with it.
I still wear the ring you bought for me in Charleston when you knew I wasn’t looking.
I still have fake flowers displayed in my room.

Because at some point I had to realize getting rid of stuff will never erase you.
You are so prominently there. here. every single place I look.
I see you in every highway exit. all my favorite singers. concert tickets. waterfalls. holidays. everything. you’ve been through it all with me.

long story short:
I wish I could relive every moment I had with you. Because you made me feel like you filled the night sky with stars every single night just to make me happy.

-Aspen

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